ALERT: NORAD Indicates Expected Airspace Violations by Entities from the North

NORAD, the North American Aerospace Defense Command, has indicated that it expects a violation of US sovereignty by repeat offenders. Late this month, during what is expected to be a silent night, an aircraft using a yet unidentified propulsion engine is expected to traverse the skies over the US and other NATO allies. Initial intelligence reports indicate an elite team of nine, accompanied by a senior commander, will stop at checkpoints located at millions of homes across the US. It is suspected that the commander will then make entry into the homes to leave items based on the merits of the youth therein. Signals Intelligence intercepts indicate the aircraft may be equipped with what is believed to be called ‘toe mistles’ (unverified).

Rumors on Capitol Hill are that the President is becoming increasingly frustrated with the US Terrorist Screening Center’s inability to prevent the airspace violation with the No-Fly List. A source in the White House who wished to remain anonymous provided the name Kris Kringle as a primary suspect. Other aliases include Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, and Santa. The man is described as portly with a large white beard and a jolly laugh. The good news: Based on experience with past incursions, sources say the visitor can be appeased with offerings of dairy products and baked goods inside the home.

All residents who suspect their home may be targeted can get an inside look at the perpetrator’s home base and operations, as well as track the movements of the team HERE. Yule be glad you did.

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